Music Blogs

While some people just seem to pour new songs, others seem to always have something better to do. This is because they have so much money, they don't need to record. Like, is Garth Brooks even in the music business anymore? Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

There are plenty of obscure people who take forever to record a follow-up album. I always assume it's because when they come home from their day out in the fields picking cotton, they don't feel like recording. But what's the deal with these five bozos below?

My Bloody Valentine: They recorded an album called Loveless several decades ago that people who listen to music say was a revolutionary work. It looked shiny. But then work began on the follow-up, or work didn't begin on the follow-up, or work is going to begin on the follow-up. The only problem now is that most of the band's original fans are now dead. Or working long hours and don't have time anymore and now only listen to...(roll the Paul Simon song....)

Paul Simon: Yes, Paul Simon, the man who started the trend of taking years between albums.  Or at least that's how I see it. Used to be you put out a record every year without fail, sometimes even two, just so people wouldn't forget who you were. Now the Who were excellent at taking forever with albums no one could understand once they bought them, but Simon actually started recording his albums while on vacation. Imagine how different his music career would've been if he vacationed in Florida like most normal people!

Guns N' Roses: To be fair, most of the guys either quit or were fired or whatever you want to believe. The other guys make albums from time to time. But Axl Rose just keeps doing whatever it is that Axl Rose does. Braid his hair? If Chinese Democracy ever comes out, go directly to your bomb shelter and wait out the end of the world.

U2: I know Bono is busy saving the world from itself and offering Red electronics to anyone who needs a new calculator/phone/portable dry cleaner and blender, but originally his job was to be the pompous doofus leading a band of guys with funny haircuts. With music, he would stop war, cure disease and end famine. Eventually the group started making music that didn't all sound alike. But not enough people bought it, so they went back to sounding like their old selves and continued to win Grammys and wear cool sunglasses.

Metallica: The best part of the Metallica film Some Kind Of Monster was reading stuff like "Day 734: Recording St. Anger." Admittedly, it must be hard cutting an album when your lead singer shows up at noon and has to pick the kids up at four. While these guys paid some psychologist a ridiculous amount of money to express their feelings, they would've benefited more from a "Time Management" Coach who could teach them how to get something done.