Music Blogs

There are many FCC regulations I don't understand. Radio DJs must identify the radio station at the top of the hour, that makes sense. DJs must either talk like they're angry hyperactive kids being denied their school lunch or mentally challenged stoners wigged out on Quaaludes, that's inevitable. But why there are rules governing what stations must play when the weather changes really baffles me. Every station depending on their format has their own mandatory list. Some overlap. These five are hardly the only ones on the mandatory list. Most stations rebel and only stick with one or two of them. But upon the first drizzle, they wheel them out, showing you that DJs don't sit in a climate controlled ivory tower away from the rest of the world--but if they do, THEY HAVE WINDOWS.

I could live my whole life without ever hearing these songs again. But then again, I also think the whole concept of rain is really dumb. Shouldn't there be an easier way to get water than to have it dumped on your head?

Supertramp--"It's Raining Again": You know that saying about how if there hadn't been a fill-in-the-blank, then someone would've had to create them anyway? Well, sometimes I get the feeling there never really was a Supertramp and therefore they were created to fill the void. This is one of those innocuous songs that when it first came out, I was convinced I would only have to tolerate it for a year or so before the radio moved on to something else more annoying. But, no, once the softball game is rained out and the picnic is cancelled, you get in the car and are greeted by this song, which doesn't seem to have any verses but keeps telling you that's it's raining. Again. Yes, sir, I can see that.

The Carpenters--"Rainy Days And Mondays": OK, people love Karen Carpenter's voice. It reminds them of being in the womb or something, so warm, so soothing. The Carpenters are also permanent fixtures on every lite-FM radio station ever conceived, which they pipe into dental offices by mandate. Which means you and I will always associate their music with the joys of sharp needles being poked into our gums and teeth. Compound this fact with a song like this one where a rainy day can't just be a bleak wet day, but its reputation is aligned with Monday, the worst day of the week a by a wide margin.

Led Zeppelin--"The Rain Song": The only thing I know about this song is that it lasts an hour and I've never listened to the entire thing in one sitting. But it's the Led Zeppelin, so you can't argue with it. Or else their guitar player will cast a satanic spell on your inner organs and you'll never eat a solid diet for as long as you live.

Creedence Clearwater Revival--"Who'll Stop The Rain?": John Fogerty, the songwriter in question, didn't write just one rhetorical question about the weather, but two. First he asks, who'll stop this crappy weather and gets plenty of airplay, so he then writes "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" indicating that since no one answered his first question, he assumes we're all just blind and he wants to rub it in. Face it, you don't a weatherman to know which way the wind blows and you don't need this jerk asking meteorological questions either!

The Doors--"Riders On The Storm": All it takes is a drizzle for this damned song to end up everywhere. Like a dog without a bone, an actor out on loan?  Say what? Who's borrowing actors where you live? Weirdest part is Jimbo sings "our life will never end" and within months he was dead in a bathtub. So, he's a liar on top of everything else!