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I went over to the Grammy site and typed in a handful of names to see what would come up. And what I found was pretty much what I expected, but a little worse. If the Academy (I love the seriousness of such a thing--the Academy) was able to recognize the Beatles in 1964 as the Best New Recording Act, shouldn't they have been onto them throughout their career?

Anyhow, here's a random ten of major artists who never received the Grammys they deserved (again, suspending our belief and pretending this stuff matters):

10) The Doors: How is it that a band with a singer as serious as Jim Morrison didn't win over the voters of the Academy? They love these kinds of guys, from Sting to Bono to Radiohead. I guess the Academy caught Jimbo's drunk act and decided that for all the "Greek God" comparisons, there was always a chance they'd get nothing more than a fat, sweaty Ralph Kramden drunk to show up to their ceremony.

9) Pink Floyd: Nothing for Dark Side Of The Moon. Nothing for The Wall. But they win in 1994, Best Rock Instrumental Performance with "Marooned." Ah, yes, that's the one keeper in their catalog. WHAT? It's like we should all just get drunk and make up the rules as we go along and then maybe something like Ummagumma would have a chance of winning.

8) Led Zeppelin: Nah, a hard rock band. Pass. Give it to Jethro Tull instead. Or maybe the Moody Blues. I read somewhere that they played pretty loud. But, wait, Led Zeppelin are threatening to reunite without their lead singer. Hmm, they might put them right in line for an award NEXT YEAR. Doncha think?

7) Janis Joplin: Again, it really shocks me when someone dies young and the Academy doesn't find a way to pay tribute. You'd think with all the "better late than never" possibilities that await them with JJ that they'd get moving on her. She's still got a lot of fans and surely Norah Jones would have a few nice words to say about her and could perform a mellow tribute if they need something uncontroversial. It's there, people.

6) The Who: You mean to tell me that with all Pete Townshend's ambitions, he still never qualified to win one of these things with his band? He won something in 1993 for "Best Musical Show Album" for the "Original Cast Recording" of Tommy. Not the original album. It's like you wonder if everyone at the Academy just sits there and tries to think of what the most ridiculous way would be to handle things. And then they do it.

5) Jimi Hendrix: You'd think that with Hendrix dying young and his people releasing dozens of questionably legit albums that they'd find at least one inappropriate piece of half-realized crap to bestow an award on. (Remember, you can't win for the good stuff!) They could even let Jimi win for "Best Vocal Performance" and completely ignore his guitar playing. Or maybe he could win something for "Best Album with inappropriate overdubs."

4) Al Green: He didn't start winning Grammys until 1981. Now they know who he is. But Green's most productive time was the entire decade before. He was the man. But just keep repeating things like Voodoo Lounge in your head and it all makes complete and perfect sense. You must admit, the Academy has been consistent.

3) The Beatles: They won a Grammy for "Free As A Bird." They were the Best New Artist of 1964 and Sgt. Pepper's won Album of the Year for 1967, but nothing for Revolver? Nothing for so many other things. But "Free As A Bird." I guess, like the Rolling Stones, the Beatles needed to stay together longer than necessary if they were going to start getting their just due. Imagine the horrible albums they could've made in the late 1970s if they'd put their minds to it.

2) Marvin Gaye: While Stevie Wonder had his contributions to R&B well noted, Marvin Gaye received no such luck. Nothing for "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" or "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" or What's Goin' On or even Let's Get It On. No, they waited until 1982. Better late than never, I guess. And when they finally give him the Grammy, they give him one for his vocal performance and then one for the instrumental version of the song, suggesting what? They like the song just as much if he doesn't sing on it? Could give a guy a complex that way.

1) The Rolling Stones: According to the website, the Rolling Stones have won two Grammys in their career. One is for "Love Is Strong" as Best Music Video, Short Form, 1994 and the other is for Voodoo Lounge, as Best Rock Album, 1994. I don't think I have to do much explaining here. I haven't actually met anyone who likes Voodoo Lounge, but I run in some pretty uptight circles. However, the idea that they'd previously been snubbed for three decades seems a tad excessive. If the Academy wanted to get it wrong, they could've started handing the group awards around the time of, say, It's Only Rock N' Roll. They didn't have to wait another two decades. What? Dirty Work wasn't bad enough to qualify? Sheesh.