Yahoo! Services

Account Options

New User? Sign Up Sign In Help

Yahoo! Search

Music Blogs

Ten Bizarre Grammys

Posted Tue Feb 3, 2009 6:05pm PST by Rob O'Connor in List Of The Day
The Grammy Awards allow the Music Industry to behave as if there is such a thing. It's a beautiful mesh of art and commerce and shiny statues and speeches and people sitting in rapt attention waiting for the post-ceremony parties. And somewhere in between they give out awards to musicians they hope will rope in enough of a television audience to make the whole thing worth doing next year.

I've always enjoyed the Grammy Awards best by not watching them. That way it's always a fresh and new experience when I hear about how wonderful they were. Damn! I missed them again!

But I went searching for ten bizarre moments that just seem wrong somehow. More wrong than usual. More odd than the Rolling Stones not winning an award until 1994's Voodoo Lounge. It was tough getting it down to just 10, but I wanted each one to really count!

10) "We Are The World" Winning Anything In 1985.: What was that about there being people dying? We're saving our own lives? Not by forcing radio to play this song at regular intervals we weren't. Put a roomful of stars in a recording studio each to sing a line of a tune and then market it as a charity record and wouldn't it really be better if we all just "gave at the office" instead?

9) Herbie Hancock Winning Album Of The Year In 2007 For River: The Joni Letters.: I know the music industry is in a bad way these days and Herbie Hancock is certainly a deserving musician for all he's done. But somehow this album doesn't seem like it would be the best album of any year. I'm sure it has its fans, but does anyone feel that strongly about it? I'd think it'd get a solid "OK" from Joni fans and a "pretty good" from Herbie's people. You mean to tell me U2 didn't make an album this year? No Sting? No wonder.

8) Bruce Springsteen Winning Best Rock Instrumental Performance In 2007 For "Once Upon A Time In The West": I'd missed this Springsteen work. He never won anything for Born To Run, but he's won for this, which upon researching is described thusly:

"Longtime Ennio Morricone fan Bruce Springsteen contributed his own instrumental version of 'Once Upon A Time In The West' for the tribute album We All Love Ennio Morricone. The track features Springsteen playing electric guitar over Morricone's original score recording."

OK, sounds great!

7) Sting Winning A 1983 Grammy For Best Instrumental For "Brimstone And Treacle.": "Every Breath You Take" is a surefire winner. And the Police won pretty early on, so the Academy were always aware of Sting. And since entering their Rolodex, he gets called upon quite often to win and accept these awards. Considering the Who have never won an award, you gotta feel a little weird about these things. Sure seems to me like there should've been a Jazz instrumental that could've beaten out Sting for this one.

6) 1976 Record Of The Year going To "This Masquerade" By George Benson, Beating Out "Afternoon Delight" (Though The Starland Vocal Band Did Win Best New Artist): You kinda expect the wrong song to win the "Record of the Year" Award. It's part of the tradition. "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" never won an award and neither did "My Old Man's A Fatso" by the Angry Samoans. So obviously they were robbed. But nothing seems more wrong than George Benson defeating the Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight." Sure, SVB won the Best New Artist award and went on to many years of sterling success, but this kind of misevaluation of talent makes you wonder if there should really be anything called democracy!

5) The Swingle Singers Winning Best New Artist In 1963: In 1964, the Beatles would win this award. But 1963 belonged to the Swingle Singers! Ward Swingle was one proud man. But, sadly, those angry, bitter Englishmen with their "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" propaganda would quickly lay to waste the future success of the stunning and deserving Swingle Singers.

4) Awarding No Best New Artist In 1966.: From everything I've ever read, 1966 was considered a pretty good year for music and yet it's the one year there was no Best New Artist? Why don't we do this more often? I'd say 2008 could be a good year to start a new tradition of ignoring all young people everywhere! Let them riot in the streets if they want to be heard.

3) Milli Vanilli Having Their 1990 Grammy Revoked For Not Performing Their Own Vocals On Their Debut Album.: A big OOPS! But really shouldn't the award have been given to the men who really did perform the song? Wasn't the music just as good regardless of who performed it? Or do we all pretend to like music that has the right name on it? Would Lamb of God fans not like Lamb of God's music if it was suddenly called The Jonas Brothers? And would Jonas Brothers fans not like their boys if they went by the name Lucy Pietro-Andelseki and Her Swinging Nuns?

2) 1980, The Year Of Christopher Cross For Record Of The Year, Album Of The Year, Song Of The Year, Best New Artist, Best Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s) For "Sailing" And His Self-titled Debut Album.: Christopher Cross' self-titled debut album beat out Pink Floyd's The Wall and Billy Joel's Glass Houses among the competition. Cross went on to beat out just about everyone that year proving that he had a lasting career to bring us, much as Starland Vocal Band before him and Lauryn Hill after would prove. When it comes to predicting longevity, the Grammys have it!

1) Jethro Tull Winning Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal Or Instrumental In 1988 For Crest Of A Knave.: Just ask Metallica. Who was more deserving of this Hard Rock / Metal Performance more than those Heavy Metal Gods themselves, the Jethro Tulls? Ok, maybe it should've gone to the Moody Blues, but they didn't have a record that year did they? I would've just assumed U2 would win by default, or maybe Bruce Springsteen. You say these aren't heavy metal bands? Yes, I agree. But what does that have to do with anything?

107 Comments

1. T -
What is with this guy and the red high school marching band pajamas? And how about that hat?Can you say free bowl of soup? I am not even going to say anything about the womans sunglasses... was that not Marilyn Manson who started that back in the 90s? Fat, stupid and stupid looking is no way to go through life my fat friend. Are we really supposed to believe this guys does not watch the Grammys? Only a few nights ago he was counting how many guitar players the Boss had onstage at the Super Bowl. Lets get real people. I should say lets get a real blogger people.

2. Smitt -
you dont mess with the Tull

3. DUDE -
Jethro deserved the Grammy....Now let's get one for Jed,Granny and Ellie Mae!

4. Martin -
Actually, the most bazarre thing about the Grammys is that Elvis Presley never won a Grammy for a rock and roll song. His only 3 grammys were for religious music such as "How Great Thou Art".

5. mikee -
it took marvin gaye 20 years before he won his for sexual healing

6. __A_YAHOO_USER__ -
Jethro Tull? Underappreciated. Personally,I prefer winning the Grammy than Metallica.

Anywho, I doubt you can be taken very seriously among Death/Thrash/Groove Metal circles if you went by the name of "Jonas Brothers". See, these guys want to sound hard and tough. I just don't see them in an ipod next to band names like:

Immolation
Impaled
Pig Head
Death Angel
Slayer
The Jonas Brothers (lolwut?)

See, it doesn't have that terrifying power. but, yeah, it ultimately comes down to the music...(I hope!).


But Rob, you TOTALLY forgot a bizzare moment:

Katy Perry getting nominated for best song (or something along those lines).

Pander=Best now? Then W.A.S.P shoul get an award for their own pandering!

7. Abbigail -
I think the whole idea is a farce. How can you pick a best anything in music? Everyone likes their own thing. And who makes these calls anyway? Seems like it could very easily be corrupted.

8. Gerry -
I take Rob's advice by looking forward every year to missing the Grammys (and all awards shows). This list is proof positive that these schnooks are clueless to what they dole out. A Heavy Metal Grammy for Jethro Tull? No Grammys for Herbie Hancock's best albums (MAIDEN VOYAGE, MWANDISHI), but he snags one for THE JONI LETTERS? Yecch!

9. MaNsOn -
ok dude metallica sux face it already

10. ronnie -
Rob,

Rush has been up for a Grammy like 7 or 8 times and never won once. I think they get nominated mainly in the Instrumental Rock category (b/c most Industry types hate Geddy's voice)- they got passed up again the year that Springsteen won in that category for whatever you wanna call that thing he did.

Rush is nominated again this year in that same category for a beautiful acoustic guitar piece called "Hope" (or the Obama anthem). Appropriate title of the year, at least.

Hey Grammies, give it to big Al of Rush finally- for being the unsung hero of that amazingly techincal iconic band!!

Alex Lifeson rules!!

11. tom -
As always your “Big Picture” view is perfect. The Grammies are like taking your Grandmother to a basketball game and just before the half she asks which one is Willie Mays. Do you have the heart to tell her it is the wrong sport and Mays hasn’t played in over three decades? Nah, you just say he is injured or see if there is a 24 on either roster. Toto winning more Grammies than The Beatles, is just too much of a classic Grammy faux awareness. Dr. Eugene Scott was a very manipulative TV preacher, the leader of his choir won a series of Grammies in the late 70’s early 80’s. With any luck American Idol will expand to include duos and band and will usurp the need for biggest waste of time this side of the Oscars.

12. tom -
Yikes, I remember Doc Scott, a real freak show. The singer looked like the walking dead. I wonder if dacropoly works for the DNC. His wonderful critiques are right out of Rules for Radicals.

Great list. If they held the Grammies in the middle of the forest and no one wathced, would the awards still be valid?

13. Mike -
Hey Rob, anyone can watch VH1 and then paraphrase whats said. Get original.

14. tom -
Never thought of it that way. It does seem like the Grammies are out of step and behind the times. VH1, is that still even on the air? What is more shocking is someone would be paying attention and quote them. It looks like youare still being attacked for youe Superbowl list.

15. Yahoo! Music User -
I don't watch much VH-1 but if they mentioned the Swingle Singers, I'd be impressed.

Rob

16. CK -
I remember the huge build up to that first metal album grammy. The pain in Alice Cooper and Lita Ford's expressions when they announced Jethro Tull as the winner was a classic moment. I am not a big metal fan, but that award told me that the academy does not know what they are doing, and I have never watched the grammys since.

17. Kenny -
RS didn't deserve that 94 Grammy. The Academy just felt sorry for them never winning before. The Grammy's are usually a joke and this year appears no different.

18. Clever Connections -
I like Sheryl Crow's first three albums, but she won a grammy for a cover of Sweet Child O' Mine on an Adam Sandler Movie Soundtrack.
Lame!!!!!

19. Marc -
Others left off:
Best New Artist winners who were less than deserving: Cyndi Lauper and the worst was Air Supply. That Aussie group took it away from paisanos AC/DC!
1992 was one of the worst years in awards. 1.
Unforgettable started this off wrong since that relied on technology to resurrenct a dead person and call it 'new'. That should have been automatic disqualification for Song of the Year. Thanks to Milli Vanilli. 2. Michael Bolton for Best Male? 3. Sting for Best Rock Male. Overall Bryan Adams deserved all 3 awards but only won for Original Song for a Soundtrack. At least he got what he deserved since the Oscars picked Beauty and the Beast for the same category, which was a HUGE error. Also Billboard is more legitimate since it relies on SALES not votes.

20. David -
Starland Vocal Band? Wow.

I'll never feel guilty for liking a song again.
Page:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 
Leave Your Comment
You must sign in to leave a comment
Select a Blog Posts
New This Week
by Dave DiMartino
123
Reality Bites
by Jordan Gracey
38
Reality Rocks
by Lyndsey Parker
578
Rock's Backpages
by Philip Norman (1970)
191
Sound Check
by Yahoo! Music Canada
27
Stop The Presses!
by Us Magazine
85
That's Really Week
by Lyndsey Parker
124
The Blender Burner
by Blender Magazine
27
The MOJO Blog
by Bill DeMain
88
The NME Blog
by Luke Lewis
48
The Spin Blog
by David Marchese
77
The Ten
by Andy West
9
Video Ga Ga
by Lyndsey Parker
70

Lambert says he got carried away, but not sorry

AP
Wed Nov 25, 2009 11:00am PST

AP - Adam Lambert admits he got carried away with his sexually charged American Music Awards performance, but he's offering no apology. The glam rocker from "American Idol" said on "The Early Show" t… More »

More News Stories