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Personally, I think spirituality is a personal thing. And, personally, I'm just looking for another All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet. And hoping to score a big, shiny car.

But most of these people are working on their Heavenly Rewards Points and scoring big time!

25) David Thomas (Pere Ubu, Rocket From The Tombs)--Jehovah's Witness: He's been mentioned as a follower of Jehovah. But you wouldn't know it from his songs, which are abstract enough to confuse everyone. He didn't mention it when I interviewed him and I didn't ask since it didn't seem relevant to anything. But consider this my opportunity to mention a great human being.

24) Courtney Love--Buddhism: You have to figure at least half of what comes out of Courtney Love's mouth is probably not true--or true in a very different definition of the word. She claims meditating and Buddhism helped her get off drugs. Is she off drugs? I don't know. Is she really a Buddhist? I don't know. I don't know if she knows. But she's said it.

23) Randy Newman-Atheism: Whether Randy is actually an atheist or an agnostic is something you'll have to ask him. He's written a lot about God and his new album Harps And Angels even finds its title song character meeting up with the Big Man (no, not Clarence Clemons, GOD) and getting some instruction on how to better his chances at walking through the Pearly Gates. Now that may not be a religious conversion, but it's alright. Oh, mama.

22) Prince--Jehovah's Witness: I was recently surprised to learn that Prince had become a JW. I'd always pegged him as a strictly Jesus guy, considering his songs about "The Cross" and other resurrecting topics. But that's the thing about Prince, he's so short he can sneak past you with anything.

21) Creed--Christianity: One thing Christianity needs to work on is the quality of the musicians it uses to get its message across. I'm agnostic to their work, since I never have to listen to it, but of all the bands in modern times, few receive the excessive bile and hate of Creed. Imagine taking the thousands of "O'Connor, you're an idiot. Can I have your job?" comments that get posted to this blog and then MULTIPLY it by another thousand or so and then you have what constitutes the anti-Creed fan club--who will one day wage a holy way against the legions of Creed followers.

20) Amy Grant--Christianity: Unfortunate for Amy, but she's now old school. If she were coming up today, she'd have a much different path to success. She'd probably have to get a couple of tattoos and look a little less wholesome. But when she was a rising star in the east, she did it politely, never forgetting to say "Thank You" or "Please" in even the most unpleasant social settings.

19) Bruce Springsteen--Catholicism: Bruce wasn't exactly "blinded by the light" and he's never really spoken about his actual beliefs. But he did attend Catholic schools and he was affected by the experience to the point where his lyrics are informed by their teachings. And while an unreleased track, "If I Was The Priest," doesn't shed the kindest light on his Catholic upbringing, it does attest that it happened.

18) Leonard Cohen--Judaism, Buddhism: Leonard practically speaks in Biblical tongues, his prose is that polished. He sings from a deep spiritual place and in his later years has been known to disappear with Zen masters to meditate on a mountain for long periods of time.

17) Van Morrison--Jehovah's Witness, Christianity, Scientology: Who knows what actual spiritual path Van Morrison walks down. If biographies on the man are to be believed, he was raised in a somewhat JW household, found the Lord around the time of his Into The Music album and thanked L. Ron Hubbard on an album in the 1980s. This doesn't mean that Van is actually a follower of any of these institutions, but he may have visited on occasion. And it's further proof that the man reads.

16) James Hetfield--Christian Scientist: Well, he may not follow this regime anymore, but it certainly affected his worldview growing up and it partly made him the man he became. Interesting how angry many of these folks are. But then if you're sitting in a church on a sunny Sunday morning, you're probably thinking how much better it would be if you could be out playing in a field instead of staring at the backs of old people.

15) Bob Dylan--Judaism, Christianity: Bob's had his time with his spirit. And it led him to record Saved, his worst album. Not because of its spiritual message, but because suddenly the music got so bad that it almost sounded like it was someone else. But it couldn't be anyone else. Because no matter how we try to imitate Bob, it's still no match for the real thing. The man is like Coke. (The Soda, I should clarify.)

14) Sinead O'Connor--Independent Catholic: Sure, she ripped up a photo of the Pope on Saturday Night Live, but she's also bi-polar. Mood swings, unpredictable behavior, and in her more introspective moments, she's chosen to study religion and practice some form of it, even being ordained a priest by the Independent Catholic group who are not connected to the Catholic Church, who ex-communicate women who are ordained. Somehow I don't think either party is too disturbed by this distinction.

13) Little Richard--Evangelical Preacher: Nothing Little Richard has ever done has been "little." He has a BIG personality and he does things BIG time. He's gone back and forth on his commitment to rock n' roll, sometimes hearing it as the "devil's music." Other times I think he hears the cash register and figures, "Oh, what the hell?" HELL!!!???? Back to preaching! It's a vicious cycle.

12) Stryper--Christianity: Yes, they looked like bumblebees. But they were buzzing for the Lord. Again, Jesus and his people might want to choose better bands for this. Getting the message out works better if the band is actually good. Stryper weren't exactly musical hell, but they were certainly no better than musical purgatory.

11) Low-Mormon: Fans of this Indie-rock slo-core group like to talk about the band's Mormon background. But I've never read about mass conversions or anything. I've never read the bylaws of Indie-Rock but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of rules against "selling out" and "singing songs people might remember," so it wouldn't surprise me if Mormonism or any religious affiliation might come under great scrutiny.

10) Matisyahu--Hasidic Judaism: The weirdest thing about this young man, born Matthew Paul Miller, isn't the Hasidic uniform he wears on stage, or his refusal to perform on the Sabbath, but the simple fact that he's not performing klezmer but reggae. What next? Rastafarians performing punk rock? Oh, wait, that would be the Bad Brains! OK, how about Islamic Fundamentalists performing Industrial Goth? Don't tell me it's been done?

9) Bruce Hornsby--Christian Scientist: I read this and was quite surprised. It doesn't seem clear whether or not he still practices (the religion, not the piano). Which leads me to believe, he might not. But I've been told you can hear the CS influence on his songs. But that would require listening closer and I'd rather stare at the album covers and imagine a better world.

8) Al Green--Ordained Pastor: Al Green turned his life around in the mid-70s after great personal tragedy. Now, finally, here's someone whom God can be proud of. For someone had to give Al that voice and why shouldn't God take credit for its heavenly sound? I sure don't have those powers. And neither do you!

7) Donny And Marie Osmond--Mormon: These two--and really their whole family--were just so wholesome that it made you want to do drugs, get tattoos and wear lots of leather just looking at them. You just needed to rebel. But they didn't. Maybe it's because they have more teeth than most people and can smile their way out of anything, but they represented the cleanest living brother-sister duo ever. If that doesn't make you want to drink...

6) Bob Marley--Rastafarian: There's still plenty of debate over whether there is a Rasta religion or whether it's just a convenient excuse to smoke a lot of cannabis. Indians have their peyote ritual. I'm trying to find the religion that approves of copious opium smoking, and Marley certainly enjoyed finding his spiritual salvation while working through the smoke rings of his mind.

5) Madonna-Kabbalah: She's also known to speak in a British accent when she grew up in Michigan! So, who knows? Demi Moore's also been linked to this. So maybe it has something to do with an interest in younger men? I don't know. I try reading the literature and it just puts me to sleep. I'll wait for the Kabbalah movie to decide.

4) Beck--Scientologist: At least half the interviews I read with this poor guy have to do with his Scientology interests. He always avoids talking about it and says it's personal and the interviewer continues to ask. Many years ago, I worked in a bookstore. People bought Dianetics quite often. It was one of those fat, sweaty looking books that had fire on the cover. I'm pretty sure most of the people who bought it never read it. Unless suddenly the world has been overtaken by an incredible amount of patience. In an age of ADD, you got to keep it brief.

3) Cat Stevens--Islam: He is now Yusuf Islam and records as Yusuf. He embraced Islam and turned his back on the pop music industry and has remained true to his calling. Oddly, he has been the center of various controversies that stem from other people misinterpreting his words, which then need clarification and bring even more attention to him and his beliefs. It's like The Godfather, the more he tries to break away, the more they keep pulling him back in.

2) Kanye West--Jesus: I can't pretend to understand anything this guy says. He says he's voice of a new generation, but I've already thrown my lot in with Pepsi. I might switch to Coke if I'm ready for a change. Or maybe I'll champion the resurgence of Birch Beer! Do they still make Fresca? Or Tab? They stopped making Mello Yello and I've been grumpy ever since. Kanye says he's into Jesus, but I think he's more into getting compared to him. I don't see the resemblance.

1) Peter Tosh--Rastafarian: Like I said in the intro, ranking people's spirituality is silly. So why Peter Tosh, you ask? Why not Peter Tosh? Smoking large amounts of marijuana has brought about many insights and innovations. There would be no Lazer Floyd without it. And what about high school kids who carve out the core of an apple and do whatever they do to Coke cans to make a bong? That's ingenuity. And if it all leads people closer to God in the process? Imagine what might happen if we all took a lot more ibuprofren!